DON'T LOOK BACK IN ANGER

The dictionary defines self-love as “regard for one’s own well-being and happiness”. It is pretty obvious nowadays that nobody is ever completely and utterly satisfied with how they look and who they are, and everyone is always comparing themselves to others. I used to find myself thinking about this a while back, and thought how sad it was that so many people

wanted to be like someone else (even though I was totally guilty of doing it myself), instead of being themselves.

In the last few months, I’ve had a few challenges pop up in my life that I have been dwelling on a lot and found it very hard to overcome them. The biggest challenge for myself, was dealing with the split from my partner whom I loved very much and finding the motivation to get out of bed and keep going. Break-ups are a total rollercoaster, we all know that and even though I’m doing better now, there are still bad days, but I have learnt a lot in the previous weeks about myself and about how I want to continue to live the rest of my life and I found that there are a lot of people out there who are faced with this challenge every day and struggle to learn to love themselves and I want talk about this subject and remind anyone who reads this that you don’t need to compare yourself to everyone else, and that you can actually be happy in your own skin.

Just a disclaimer, I think it’s important to find your own way of dealing with things, but the most important thing I ask of you to accept when going through a rough time, is that the world will not stop spinning and the days will continue to roll on by whether you want them too or not. The world will not end just because you are sad, even though sometimes we all wish it would. Every day is a new day to wake up and simply just be grateful you are here and for what you have.

For almost as long as I can remember, humans have compared themselves to those around them day after day. I am 100% guilty of this and I can imagine that there is not one of us out there who isn’t. When you actually think about it, that’s so horrible. Who cares if your legs aren’t as skinny as hers, or if your biceps aren’t as big as his, or if she gets all the boys attention and you get none. I understand that it can be hard not to compare yourself to people as a lot of us depend on people’s opinion and approval to get by, but this doesn’t need to be the case. What I found helped me really find happiness within myself, is switching the approval of others to the approval of myself. Instead of comparing myself to other girls, I compared who I am now, with who I used to be.

Something I started doing a while ago now to help myself feel a little better about my body in particular, is going to the gym. I’m really into it nowadays and I actually find it to be a really good place to release any negative energy. Results at the gym don’t happen overnight and I think that’s what motivates me to keep going as, if I want to see a change within myself, I have to work for it and if I don’t, it won’t happen, no matter how much I want it or compare myself to someone else, and unfortunately that’s how this stuff works. If you want something, go get it. Going out and getting some exercise would have to be my number one tip on a quick fix on how to feel better in the moment, as it’s nice to get some fresh air and do something good for your body.

For so long, I sat around and felt sorry for myself day after day because I was anxious and sad 99% of the time, and I constantly asked myself what’s wrong with me? Why don’t people like me? What am I doing wrong? Especially when it came to my break up, I was constantly putting pressure on myself to figure out the answer to questions I should not have even been asking. I guess after a while of sitting around and begging my ex to come back, I realised that I just had to accept that this is how it is. And as of right now, if you asked me, I could tell you I love him and I’m grateful for the memories we made and the love we shared and I gave it my best shot, I loved him to the best of my ability and although things didn’t work out, that doesn’t mean that I wasn’t enough, it just means we weren’t meant to be. I think that’s what so many people don’t realise, is that sometimes people are just not meant for each other, and although that sucks bad, the sooner you accept it, the sooner you can move on and feel free and at peace with your feelings. If people cannot see your worth, then move on. Do not degrade yourself simply because someone else cannot see your value.

Acceptance would have to be my number one top tip for being happy, and its long term too because it relates to almost anything that happens in life. It is, what it is.

One of the most important steps I took when trying to find happiness within myself and feel beautiful in my own skin, was cutting out the people in my life who did nothing for me. A detox some may say. People who don’t make effort to make you feel better, or to keep the friendship are people who are not worth your time. Throughout high school, I made a lot of effort for a very long time with people who never made it back and even nowadays, up until a few weeks ago, I tried to make the impossible happen with people who weren’t interested... and I wondered why I felt so lonely and shit all the time.

By making effort with people:

♥ Who make effort with you

♥ Who show interest in your life

♥ Who support you

♥ Are there for you when you’re at your lowest, but also at your best, are people you should never cut out of your life.

These types of people will bring out the best in you as you should for them. Expanding my horizons and searching for new friends who brought out the best in me, and meeting new people through my best friends has introduced me to so many new people out there, that have made me realise that even when I didn’t think there was, there are so many GOOD people in this world, you just have to find them.

A lot of people are afraid of change and I must say, the changes I have experienced in the last few months have been very scary but they have shaped me into who I am, and I am grateful every day to be here and have what I have, and the friends that have been there for me always (you know who you are), I will be eternally thankful for. There is so much more to life than people who don’t love you back, or treat you how you deserve or value you, and there is so much to love about yourself, you don’t need other people to find it for you.

Take a deep breath and realise that every rose has its thorn and we are all human, and at the end of the day we are all just doing our best. Nobody can ask you for more than that. Nobody is perfect and we all make mistakes, just as long as we learn from them and move forward, that’s all that matters.

I hope that this post gave anyone some handy tips to help make you feel better, and I am only a message away if anyone ever needs anything. My social media is linked on my blog page.

This topic is really special to me, and I hope that I did it justice in portraying to you lovelies, how to love yourself just by doing things that are good for you. Just do what makes you happy and fuck what anyone else thinks (sorry mum...).

Stay golden, all my love x